Do What You Do Best and Forget the Rest

Blog by Tracy Butz, CSP

In our fast-paced and fad-rich world we live in today, I see many companies (and individuals, for that matter) try “this” one week and “that” the next week. They attempt to be overly accommodating and then drastically different, in hopes of finding or becoming the next big thing. Being innovative, agile and trying new ways of doing things is definitely important and a skill we should try to continue to get better at; however, adopting “the latest hype” or going down an untested path can cause a considerable cloud of confusion. A lack of clarity is no small issue and can foster an abundance of uncertainly and a whole lot of stress—which can lead to decreased happiness, productivity, value and revenue, among many other unwanted outcomes.

For example, a colleague of mine wants to find a new job and decided to look for an opportunity in a specific industry she has worked in before, just a different role. Good idea! But then the following week, she decided to shift her focus to a completely new path, resembling the opposite of her strengths and even working knowledge, in an effort to “do something exciting and new.” Three months passed and still no new job offers emerged. Bad luck or bad strategy? I’d say the latter.

Focusing on doing what you do best is not only a valid personal strategy, but it’s also a sound business one. In fact, recently the biggest U.S. supermarket chain decided to scale back attempts to enhance sales with new products and renovated stores to be more competitive with Walmart and Target, which unfortunately led to 1000 job cuts last month. However, instead of continuing to do what they don’t do best, Kroger is reversing course on apparel, meal kits, etc. and getting back to what they know and excel at: selling groceries.

Hopefully this conscious shift works well for Kroger and the pendulum swings the other way. Some say the change took too long or wasn’t big enough; yet, others are very optimistic. Time will tell. I commend Kroger for deciding to now spearhead targeted innovative ideas but focus on doing what they do best. I hope this revised strategy brings them unprecedented success, as I know numerous people who are happily employed by that chain.

What do you do best? Whatever it is, you likely enjoy doing it, because we tend to love the things we rock at! 

Do what you do best and forget the rest.

Delaying the Sweet Taste of Indulgence

Blog by Tracy Butz, CSP

Have you ever wondered why you make some of the decisions that you do? I believe one significant factor that influences one choice over another is a human desire to move toward pleasure and avoid pain. By pleasure I mean things that create feelings of happiness, strength, optimism, energy, or inspiration. With pain, I am referring to feelings of anger, confusion, helplessness, frustration, or even boredom. If you are regularly able to demonstrate self-discipline by delaying pleasure or gratification, your chances for achieving success in life increase substantially. 

According to a landmark Stanford University study, children were provided one marshmallow and given the choice of eating it or waiting fifteen minutes and being rewarded for holding out with a second marshmallow. Some kids ate theirs right away. Others waited. But the study’s real significance came years later, when researchers discovered that the children who held out for the reward had become far more successful adults than the children who ate the first marshmallow immediately. This “marshmallow theory” was found to explain that the key difference between success and failure is not merely hard work or intelligence, but the ability to delay gratification.

If you are looking to delay gratification, like to save money now to be able to purchase a more desirable item in the future, here are five strategies to help you stand strong: 

1. Be clear on your values and what matters most. Have a clear understanding of what is important to you and what you want to accomplish. When you realize these aspects, you are more likely to make choices that can help you achieve the goals and success you desire.
2. Break down big projects/goals. Just like running, athletes train very differently for a sprint than a marathon. The long project will help you to learn about the process, setting mini-goals along the way, and ongoing persistence.
3. Offer visual progress. Use a jar of marbles or some sort of visual tool to demonstrate working toward a goal and making progress versus giving yourself a huge reward after accomplishing a task. Once the jar is full, then you get to reward yourself.
4. Get an accountability partner. Just like it is often times easier to workout with a buddy so that you both are less inclined to stop because you know the other person is counting on you, sharing your plan and progress with an accountability partner can help maintain your focus and discipline.
5. Frequent reflection. When you find yourself struggling with wanting something now and you’re about to cave in, stop to consciously reflect as to why you are feeling more vulnerable than usual. Try to pinpoint the motivation and reasons behind this strong craving. This time spent in reflection just may be enough to break the cycle of “now” and allow you to postpone the pleasure. 

Delaying gratification can be hard-work. Depending on what you want to achieve, it may take weeks, months, years, and sometimes even decades. And even if you don’t always make the best choices, hopefully you learn from the poor ones and appreciate the good ones. As I contemplate my life, I know that when I exercise self-discipline to delay an indulgence or an instant pleasure, I reap the sweet rewards. I tend to appreciate it more, feel a greater sense of accomplishment, and achieve a more successful outcome. Hold it, smell it, or even lick it, but don’t gobble the marshmallow yet.

Personal Challenge: What areas in your life do you feel you need instant gratification and find it difficult to delay? What other strategies do you have for delaying gratification?

Courageously Adapt and Build Back

Blog by Tracy Butz, CSP

Whether it is job loss, injury, debt, illness or something worse—when life-changing or stressful situations arise professionally or personally, your degree of resilience can dramatically affect how you deal with and move through the hardship. After all, it’s not the difficult situation that does you in; it’s how you choose to react to it.

Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. Instead, it involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone. And here are five strategies to foster and enhance your team’s (or your own) level of resilience:

1. Develop a strong social network. The need for connection with others is primal…as fundamental as the need for air, water and food. Having caring, supportive people around you helps you to share your feelings and express emotion, gain support and perspective, and consider other options and solutions. And according to research, the most important aspect in helping you to enhance your resilience is to surround yourself with “caring and supportive relationships”—both within and outside your family.

This past weekend, my sister and her family came to Colorado from Wisconsin to visit my husband and I. We had a fabulous time! Here is just one of our special moments we shared together.

2. Take steps to solve problems. Compare highly resilient people with those who struggle with it. Resilient people approach and solve problems differently.  Here is what they do: 

• Resilient people are able to spot the solution that will more likely lead to a safe outcome. Resist having tunnel vision.
• Calmly and rationally look at a problem and envision a successful solution, rather than waiting for the problem to magically go away on its own.
• Focus on the progress you make and plan your next steps, over becoming discouraged by the amount of work that still needs to be completed.
• Whenever you encounter a new challenge, note important details and make a quick list of potential ways you could solve the problem.
  

For example, a fellow team-member decides to leave the company. More work will likely come your way—at least for a while. How would a resilient person approach this issue? Instead of agonizing over the workload or stepping into victim-mode asking yourself, “Why me?”, consider re-prioritizing your work and/or delegating any responsibilities you can. These two simple ideas may be the difference between feeling empowered over being stuck and overwhelmed. 

3. Be flexible and more accepting of change. Accept the things you can’t change. Change the things you can’t accept—by being more adaptable and flexible. Here’s how:

• Understand nothing is permanent. It is necessary for old things to go and new things to come.
• Realize what is really important. Sometimes people get upset over a small change. Try comparing it to a more impactful change, like losing a family member. 
• Acknowledge there is a reason for the change, even if it isn’t clear to you. 
• Get used to the change (or new item). You might find that you like it more.

4. Nurture a positive view of yourself and maintain a hopeful outlook. Remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments. Self-esteem plays an important role in coping with stress and recovering from difficult events. I have found it helps to keep a list of problems you’ve overcome and what you did to resolve them. Positive thinking does not mean ignoring the problem.  It is about understanding that setbacks will usually pass and that you likely have the ability to combat the challenges you face.

5. Ask for—and accept—help. It is essential to ask for help when needed—from family, friends, and those you trust. And when assistance is offered, be sure you set aside your humble pie; graciously and warmly choose to accept it. Those who have our best interests at heart usually want to help us when we need it most. Accepting assistance isn’t a weakness; rather, it is a true demonstration of courage. And during a significant crisis—it may go without saying—but, seek the assistance of professionals specially trained to deal with a specific type of stressor and/or situation. 

Choose to courageously face the problems that confront you and you will not only better adapt to them, but also build back and become stronger through them.

Change is Like a Kaleidoscope

Blog by Tracy Butz, CSP 

A common metaphor for experiencing change is that it is like a journey. Your current reality is point A, your desired outcome is point B, and the change process is the journey from A to B. You anticipate forks in the road (choices), roadblocks (obstacles), and milestones. You climb a metaphorical hill to get a clearer perspective and create a vehicle (strategy) to get us to point B. The problem is that a journey is not a path like you see on a map. With a journey—it is unclear as to how to reach the desired destination or outcome. Also, there is usually more than one way or one possible solution. 

A better, more empowering metaphor is that change is like a kaleidoscope. You look through the eyepiece and see a colorful pattern. With one tiny nudge of the barrel, you instantly create a new pattern, which is totally different, and the change is often permanent—just like what happens in business.    

And when change occurs, businesses and/or individuals tend to fall into one of three groups; those who: 

1. Embrace change and thrive or
2. Adapt to change and survive or
3. Resist change and fade away…which none of us want!

In order to alter your mindset and behavior about change and learn to embrace it, one common dynamic to prepare for and work effectively through is negative resistance. 

When employees/individuals are going through a change:

• 20% are “Embrace Change Immediately” - get on board and support it.
• 30% are “Resistors” - dig their heels in and oppose it.
• 50% are “Fence-sitters” - sit on the fence and take their time to decide.

Of these three groups, which do you think is the loudest? Which group gets more time and attention? And which group gives you back the least, in terms of investment of time? If you answered “Resistors” for all three questions, you guessed right. 

The tipping point for influencing others during times of change happens at about one-third. When one-third of the group or organization behave a certain way, the organization tips that way, and the change effort either fails or succeeds.  

If part of the Fence-Sitter group would hop off the fence to support the change, then the organization would tip, and the pace of the change accelerates with a successful outcome. 

But who is also recruiting from the Fence-sitter group? Yes…those nasty Resistors. And how many percentage points do they need to get to one-third? The answer is only three percent! So, as a change influencer, where should you be spending all of your time? Devote all your time and energy on influencing the Fence-sitters.  

Some resistance to change is normal. It is a natural attempt to slow things down, to a point of manageability; yet, when the resistance becomes overly negative, it can bring a change initiative to a crushing halt.  

So take one [tiny] nudge—or step—to positively influence change around you. When you do, you will experience a new [colorful] pattern to help continue to propel your team/organization forward, allowing it to further thrive for many years to come.  

Prescription for Pleasure

Blog by Tracy Butz, CSP

If there was a magic pill to make you feel happier, what would you pay for it and would you take it? Many people would consider paying a lot of green to avoid feeling blue. 

In fact, providing your basic needs are met, happiness is said to be determined more by the state of your mind than by what conditions exist or circumstances happen. 

Therefore, my prescription for pleasure, or true happiness, can actually be achieved by reshaping our mindset, attitudes and outlook. Here are 18 recommended remedies to help prevent the pessimism, treat the tears, nip the nag, and cure the crabby:

1. Choose your thoughts. Every day, choose your thoughts the same way you choose what clothes to wear.

2. Express gratitude. Many of us could be a lot happier if we practiced gratitude for what we already have rather than focusing all our attention on what we don’t have.

3. Let go of anger. Holding a grudge or holding onto any type of anger won’t do anything but cause resentment. Dwelling on the past is only going to hold you back from having a better future. Hate is a very heavy bag to carry; let it go.

4. Forget perfect. Perfection is a fallacy of irrational thinking—the more we try to be perfect, the more disappointed we will be. Rather than shooting for perfection, aim for your finest, and you will rarely let yourself down.

5. Fight the disease to please. Resist being overly concerned with impressing, winning the approval of, or incessantly pleasing others, especially when it’s at a personal cost to you. Instead, pursue and set healthy boundaries by knowing what you like, need, want, and don’t want, and then making choices which are aligned with those needs and wants.  

6. Teach your lips to say no.  Understand that you are free to say yes or no. And, when appropriate, you should do so without feelings of guilt, anger or fear.

7. Be your authentic self. Try not to compare yourself with others. Everyone is unique in his or her own way. Embrace your features along with your flaws. Be the best you that you can be.

8. Smile. Turn that frown upside down. After all, smiling is infectious; you can catch it easier than a cold.

9. Challenge negative opinions others have of you. What others think of you should never outshine what you think of yourself.

10. Lighten your load. Unless you have a large red “S” on your chest, you likely don’t have super powers, which may be what it would take for one individual to conquer the evil, mile-long to-do list. Instead, ask for and accept some help.

11. Forgive yourself and others. Move on from past mistakes and difficult situations. Holding on to these negative feels is very burdensome.

12. Own accountability. When things go wrong, be accountable for your mistakes without pointing fingers at others.

13. Expect mutual benefit in relationships. Whether at work or at home, healthy relationships should provide value and benefit for both parties. It likely won’t be the same for each of you, but it should be a shared venture.

14. Welcome feedback. Some feedback is positive, and some is constructive. Understand the intent of the other person, and try to look past how it was delivered. Choose to learn and grow from feedback you receive. 

15. Refuse to take on the problems of others. It is admirable to help others through difficult situations; however, there is a big difference between offering assistance and accepting another person’s problem as your own.

16. Celebrate successes. Celebrate personal accomplishments by treating yourself to a movie, taking a vacation day to do what you want, indulging in a small treat, etc. Additionally, get in the habit of noticing and applauding the success of others. By recognizing another person’s achievements, you are demonstrating value and appreciation for their effort and results.

17. Respect yourself. Feel an inner confidence and assurance, independent of praise from others. Remember: nobody can make you feel inferior unless you give him or her permission.

18. Be respectful of others. Look for positive and honorable qualities in others.

Being happy is a deliberate choice; a choice we make every moment of every day. Don’t target the tumultuous; instead, focus on the fantastic and be happy!

Do You Feel "The Love" at Work?

Blog by Tracy Butz, CSP

Creating a culture where people feel respected, valued, appreciated, heard and included requires another level of effort that may not be getting the attention and investment it needs. If you want to work in a culture where you “feel the love”—where everyone feels a sense of belonging, connection and community—every employee needs to put forth effort to make that happen. And when you do, this feeling gets passed on to customers and results in more productivity and profit. 

But is a lack of love actually an issue? Watch this short video and decide for yourself.

Whether you are a leader or an individual contributor, here are seven strategies to help you create a more inclusive workplace culture today by personally modeling it and also sharing it up, down and across your organization:

1. Leave your assumptions at the door. It is easy and often natural to make assumptions about others in the workplace, leading to misunderstandings, biases and often wrong conclusions. The next time you find yourself assuming something of someone—even if it's as simple as "She's probably too busy"—stop yourself. Instead, ask the question first of that individual. Even if you confirm your assumption, you now have an informed understanding.
2. Create a collaborative environment. Break down silos and promote organization-wide inclusion by promoting a collaborative environment. This includes a culture of behaviors and actions that inspire, model and align with your inclusive goals. Develop cross-functional projects or meetings between teams or create a random lunch partner program. This will allow your people to meet new coworkers and learn from one another, which ultimately will strengthen your entire culture.
3. Change your workspace. If you can do it in your workplace, leave your desk and work in a different area of the office for a few hours. You'd be surprised at how it can really change up your perspective. You may have interactions with people you otherwise wouldn't, especially if you put yourself where there is a consistent movement of people. This small change of scenery will allow for more collisions and spark new ideas.
4. Offer a forum of expression. Having a voice by providing regular, optional “town hall” meetings to discuss anything from business decisions, business updates, department efforts or company wins will not only offer an open space where employees can voice their thoughts or concerns—but it also shows your commitment to your people and their value to the company as a whole.
5. Demonstrate you care. Show your people you care by hosting regular one-on-one check-ins between managers and employees. Let employees know that it’s their place to openly speak their mind about what matters most to them — whether that’s about their professional development, a current project or if they’re feeling overwhelmed and overworked — start a conversation to support their journey.
6. Rotate who leads meetings. Change up the dynamic by rotating who runs meetings. Give that individual the leeway to be creative, while ensuring you're in alignment on the goals of the meeting. This gets people engaged and sends a signal that everyone's contribution matters. When done well, this creates openings for everyone to weigh in and, hopefully, inspire lively discussions and decisive actions.
7. Talk about something besides work. It is easy to get caught up in the day-to-day responsibilities of your job and not take the time to actually get to know colleagues in your office. Disrupt the status quo by having a conversation with a colleague you don't normally talk to and engage them on a non-work related topic. This connection will often improve the ease of the working relationship and enhance overall communication. 

Ultimately, individuals need to be recognized for their uniqueness but also feel connected to something bigger. An inclusive culture has many layers and millions of moments that define it, but in order to make a real impact and display an ongoing commitment to employees and colleagues, choose to take small and incremental steps to make your workplace a more inclusive—and likely more successful—environment right now.

12 Methods to Make Meetings More Meaningful

Blog by Tracy Butz, CSP

Why do some meeting facilitators excel at leading and managing meetings while others fail to maintain control, keep emotions in line, and can't seem to enrich the experience so attendees are engaged and want to contribute?

If you struggle with this skill or know someone who does, don't sit back and wait for the next meeting you lead or attend to be one of the 49 percent of office meetings that are found to be a "waste of time" (source: USA Today). Moreover, according to an online schedule service named Doodle, their recently published 2019 State of Meetings Report found that pointless and/or poorly organized meetings will cost U.S. companies a whopping $399 billion in 2019! Both alarming and sad.

Let's consider some of the consequences for employees who suffer through poorly organized or facilitated meetings. According to the same report, respondents most often cited:

• Poorly organized meetings mean I don't have enough time to do the rest of my work (44%).
• Unclear actions lead to confusion (43%).
• Bad organization results in a loss of focus on projects (38%).
• Irrelevant attendees slow progress (31%).
• Inefficient processes weaken customer/supplier relationships (26%). 

So before you reserve your next meeting space, take a few moments to consider why you need to gather this group together at this particular time, who should be invited and who needs to be present, what outcomes you expect as a result of the meeting, and what impact you hope to have. Additionally, apply these 12 methods, too, and watch your meetings become more productive, easier to manage, and more meaningful for all involved. 

1. Communicate the agenda and the meeting purpose with the meeting invitation.
2. Leave devices at the door (or at least put them on silence).
3. Set meeting expectations, including the length of each agenda item and overall meeting length.
4. Avoid recapping for late-comers.
5. Explain how ideas will be captured.
6. Listen more, talk less, and welcome all ideas--not just those from "louder" attendees and/or extroverts.
7. Communicate the desired meeting outcome beforehand and at the start of the meeting to ensure attendees have clarity in the goal and come prepared to articulate their points.
8. One person speaks at a time without interruption.
9. Welcome respectful disagreement/conflict; don't allow disrespectful comments/tones.
10. Set up the meeting room/environment and test all technology before the meeting starts.
11. Jokes need to be appropriate or stopped.
12. Identify who the note-taker will be and ensure s/he understands the facilitator's expectations (capture all ideas and avoid using symbols for words). 

Below is a comical illustration of the above points NOT being demonstrated well. Enjoy it and let yourself laugh a little. After all, according to Fortune.com, laughter is good for the bottom line---with 81 percent of the 100 Best Companies to Work For saying, "We work in a fun environment."

The Secret to Motivating Other People

Blog by Tracy Butz, CSP

I’m often asked this question: Can you motivate someone else? The short answer is...absolutely not! No matter how hard you want it, no one can motivate someone else to do what they don't want to do. You may get someone to do a task by enticing him/her with a sweeter carrot or threatening that person with a sharper stick. But that is not representative of personal motivation.

With the above said, you can influence other people to do a particular task and amazingly, this strategy works both professionally and personally. If you can tap into the underlying desires people have, you will get amazing performance from them. And if you’re a leader, the trick is to find alignment between what your people want and what will help grow the organization. Here is a three-step process to positively influence motivation:

STEP ONE: Ask the individual what s/he wants.

The first step in finding what motivates others is to make time to listen to them and find out what they actually want out of their job. The key is to not make assumptions about what you think they want; rather, you need to actually ask them what they want. Maybe they desire:

• A new big title.
• More time off to spend with their family.
• To make more money to buy a new truck or send a son/daughter to college. 

STEP TWO: Show people how they can get what they want.

If someone wants to become a supervisor one day, offer ideas of things s/he can do to help make that happen.

STEP THREE: Allow others to get what they want while also benefitting the organization.

When my oldest son was 11, I remember him wanting to buy a motorized dirt bike for $400. I even told him I would pay for half of it. While he thought that was generous, he didn't have any other money for the purchase. So I gave Taylor a list of extra chores he could do around the house—like cleaning out the garage and raking leaves so he could earn some money.

He became a dynamo of energy as he tackled chores he otherwise loathed doing. The difference was he was doing them to get what he wanted. Meanwhile, I also got work done in a way that freed me up to do other things, namely landscaping which I love to do. That's what made the whole thing a true win-win. I found alignment between his personal goal and my desired outcomes.

So you may be thinking, “What’s the big deal? How does motivation directly affect the workplace?” Well, motivated employees tend to produce happier customers, positively affecting the bottom line. In fact, workplace cultures with the highest total motivation scores also have received the highest customer satisfaction ratings. To learn more, watch this short video clip published by Harvard Business Review.

So even though the secret to motivating other people is that you can’t do it, you can dramatically influence others when it matters most.

Candor is Like a Screwdriver With a Twist

Blog by Tracy Butz, CSP

According to Gallup, Inc., do you know the number one leadership behavior that affects morale and productivity the most? It’s not attitude. It’s not collaboration. It’s a lack of feedback. Providing candid feedback is an art, not a science. It takes some degree of finesse…but also common sense.

Candor is like a screwdriver—an incredibly useful tool that often involves a twist. When used in the right manner, it can help you construct and deconstruct any number of objects. But to get the benefits, you have to use it correctly. If you try to use a Phillips head screwdriver on one of those screws that looks like a star, it won’t fit.

Similarly, if you demonstrate 100 percent honesty without a common sense filter, the conversation or feedback you are offering is not going to be received very well. Instead of blatant or brazen honesty, slightly rotate your approach and apply candor as a form of sincere expression. In other words, do your best to say the right thing, to the right person, at the right time, for the right reason, and in the right way.

In any given work week, there is at least one conversation you’d rather not have; one conversation that you know won’t go well due to your or the other person’s emotions coming unglued; or one conversation that can overshadow the whole day, week or workplace because of the impact it could have with ongoing relationships. Why not dodge these uncomfortable conversations altogether?  What would be the benefit of learning to deal with these situations candidly?

First and foremost, those who engage in open and sincere dialogue, free from reservation or holding back what needs to be said—report higher levels of job satisfaction, confidence and performance results. By communicating clearly and openly about what’s on your mind, you can be more effective and productive versus spending countless hours and energy on worrying about what may happen next.

In an upcoming breakout session at the Society for Human Resource Management's (SHRM) NationalConvention & Exposition on Monday, 6/24/19 in Las Vegas, I will be sharing the six step process to achieving breakthrough relationships by maximizing candor and minimizing defensiveness by engaging in “CandidConversations that Drive Results.” Here are six results-focused steps, which if followed, will help you to transform your relationships, too. Each step is simple, but not necessarily easy.

1. Clearly identify purpose before engaging. Ask yourself these three questions:

• Why am I going to discuss this issue?
• What do I hope to accomplish?
• What would the ideal outcome be?

2. Consider timing and location.

• Address the matter as soon as possible, but timing is critical.
• Determine the location for the discussion; remember that privacy is important.
• Discuss the issue face-to-face and one-on-one; avoid addressing it via email.

3. Start with a statement that invites dialogue.

• Be sure to open with an opening statement that is cognizant of body language, sound of voice and the actual words you use.

4. Share facts, story, then emotions.

• See the facts.
• Alter your story (interpretation of the facts)
• Experience a different emotion.                                  
• Change your behavior.                               
• Achieve a more positive outcome.

5. Encourage other person to share perspective.

• Ask for the other person’s input.
• Listen versus waiting for a pause to talk.
• Try to understand other person’s perspective, rather than focusing on driving your point.

6. Keep your emotions in control.

Prior to the conversation:

• PREPARE! Think through how it may go and how you’ve reacted in the past.
• Proactively access why someone would react this way and how you can best handle it.
• Consider your conflict triggers and guard against them.

During the conversation:

• Let other person speak; do not interrupt.
• Consciously lower your voice.
• Acknowledge the other person’s feelings; demonstrate empathy.
• Ask how s/he would like to see issue handled and/or offer options.
• If your emotions are elevating, state you need some time to continue the conversation.
• Express regret or apologize, if appropriate.

At the end of the day, candor is a tool. And just like any tool, it can be used to create or destroy. You need to be aware of its potential dangers to mitigate them. Candor carries some risk, but if you apply common sense when using it, you will likely build your relationships stronger than ever before.

Are You Smooth or Strong?

Blog by Tracy Butz, CSP

Would your organization ever promote smoking or other bad practices that are scientifically linked to health problems? It’s not too likely. Because if it did, they’d be undermining all of the arduous efforts to enhance employee health and well-being.

It’s time to equate toxic attitudes to smoking. They not only damage the health of your employees, but horrible attitudes also directly affect your workplace culture and your organization’s bottom line.  

When employee health suffers, your organization suffers. Unhealthy, unhappy employees negatively affect:

• Performance
• Attendance
• Customer ratings
• Quality
• Profit

You say it’s a beautiful day, she tells you why it’s not. You tell him about your new idea, he tells you why it won’t work. You proudly share a recent work success, and she replies with, “Yeah, but what about…?” I refer to these toxins as “Debbie Downers,” “Cynical Sams,” “Pessimistic Pauls,” “Negative Nancys,” or “Gloomy Glens.” They spew venom to anyone and everyone who will listen.

Cutting ties with “Nathan Naysayer” is much easier said than done. Even when bosses need to sever ties, employees often hope they take the necessary action, so the morale of the team doesn’t take a bigger hit. Yet, according to a survey featured on Fortune.com, fewer than half of managers said they would fire someone for damaging team morale. Interestingly, 88 percent of employees would. Team members understand the direct impact of these destructive types. They personally experience their high-performing, fun and collaborative team morph into something unrecognizable—a team they don’t want to be a part of any longer. Sadly, it’s often too late when management finally realizes the extent of the damage.

Regardless of your role, putting distance between you and harmful naysayers is essential for healthy, meaningful and respectful relationships to prosper. By making small, purposeful changes in your behavior with negative influencers, you can better control your own thoughts and actions, and more positively influence those of your team. If you know you ought to put distance between you and “the Nathans,” consider trying one or more of these strong ideas:

Change your routine. Instead of sitting through lunch with someone who whines and complains about her troubles, critiques mutual friends, and sits and pouts, choose to do something different with that time. Go for a walk, eat with someone else, or spend time reading. If she questions your behavior change, engage in candid dialogue with her. The exchange may influence a behavior change from her, too, or at the very least, you will more easily be able to enjoy lunchtime without facing unwanted whining and negativity.

Keep interactions short. If you have to engage with a pessimistic individual, keep the interactions short and focused on the desired outcome. Instead of empathizing as she rambles on about her mountainous workload or frustrating spouse, listen for a few minutes, and then explain that you really need to cut this conversation short due to another commitment—the commitment you made to yourself to limit interactions with this person.

Maintain perspective. There are reasons people behave the way they do. Sometimes the reasons are clear, while other times it’s murky. Perhaps the bothersome naysayer you wish to avoid is facing self-esteem issues, ongoing job performance errors, money problems, health concerns, or something completely different. We each behave in our own way when we have concerns that are weighing heavily on us. Understanding that there may be a deeper cause for the pessimistic persona wouldn’t cause me to excuse it, but I could more easily maintain a greater sense of perspective with it.

Optimistically oppose. If you’re stuck in a situation where everything that is flowing out of “Gloomy Glen” is anti-positive, tentatively articulate kind, opposing statements. For example, if he says his food sucks, combat that with, “My food is pretty good. Perhaps, you could try a different entrée?” Or if he says the (mutual) boss is a pain to work for, optimistically oppose by saying, “I used to think of her the same way. Then I decided to focus on the positive difference she has made to our team, and that helps me view her in a different light.” If this tactic doesn’t influence a more positive tone right away, hopefully you have given this individual a little more to think about. At the very least, “Gloomy Glens” tend to move on to others when what they are getting from you isn’t satisfying their mantra.

Almost all of us have dealt—or are still dealing—with an annoyingly negative co-worker or an unbearable pessimistic boss. Avoid shouting, “Take a shower! Your attitude stinks!” Instead, consider Albert Einstein’s words of wisdom: “Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.”

Rather than being a smooth character, choose to demonstrate strong character and color any situation with a positive attitude.  

Can You Change Other People?

Blog by Tracy Butz, CSP

Whether at work or at home, most people experience times when they desperately want to change how another person thinks or behaves. Maybe you need a colleague to follow through on project expectations because his procrastination is causing you delays. Perhaps you can’t stand the late hours your spouse puts in at work, which is taking a toll on your relationship. Or maybe your best friend incessantly whines and complains with a never-ending negative view of life and you just want her to stop. You likely realize that no matter how hard you try, you simply can’t change other people. Period. However, you can, though, positively influence someone to change. 

If you find yourself faced with needing or wanting to influence behavior change, here are four strategies I have used with great success:

1. Identify the specific behavior. Pinpoint the exact behavior that you want this person to change. If you want the person to just “be less annoying” or “call more often,” you will not get the results you want. Pinpoint the exact behavior you want to see change and note exactly how you want it to change. For example, rather than saying that you want her to “be less annoying,” plan to say that you want her to “stop interrupting conversations she’s not part of.” Or, instead of wanting him to “call you more often,” you could prepare to ask him to “call you every Sunday.”

2. Obtain and acknowledge perspective. Determine what their concerns, fears and assumptions are regarding the change. Doing this will definitely help you counter some of their concerns, and you’ll also better understand their perspective by valuing their opinion and incorporating them into the conversation. Even though you may not agree with their point of view, acknowledging that you understand and appreciate their perspective is a great way for you to confirm that you heard them and their point is valid.  

3. Explore motivations without pushing. The other person often already knows that s/he should change a specific behavior. And if you try to present one side of an argument, s/he will feel compelled to push back. When trying to influence people who need motivation, but not more information, ask questions that allow them to explore their own motivations without feeling pushed. Some examples include:

• “What makes this behavior worth changing?”
• “If this change was easy, would you want to make it?”
• “What makes this behavior change hard?”
• “What are the pluses and minuses of changing or not changing?”
• “If you’re able to successfully change this behavior, what would be different?”

4. Highlight benefits for him/her. Based on the individual motivations uncovered, subtly highlighting why changing could benefit this person can offer illuminated advantages that answer the question, “What’s in it for me?” For example, my young adult sons are glued to their phones—texting, snap-chatting, watching videos, viewing or posting on Facebook, etc. Because I live in Colorado and they reside in Wisconsin, when we visit one another, spending quality time together is our shared focus. Sometimes, though, daily routines prevail and it becomes a bit more challenging to disconnect to reconnect. Since recommending a digital detox wouldn’t work for them or me, I usually offer one or two reminders of how limited our time together is, and that’s usually enough to re-engage them.

With the above point in mind, laying out the advantages in a specific order also helps heighten the level of persuasion: start out emphasizing a strong advantage, share another pivotal benefit, and then bring commanding closure by underlining the most important reason for him/her. 

Everyone faces instances when positively influencing another person’s thoughts or behavior is advantageous. Rather than impeding success, choose to offer assistance by understanding another’s perspective, exploring their motivations and encouraging commitment to change. When your intent to help is positive and genuine, your level of influence is endless and can truly make a difference. Influence—the true measure of leadership. 

Are You Driven to Distraction?

Blog by Tracy Butz, CSP

Three evenings ago, my husband and I ordered a pizza to be delivered from a local eatery. We were told the wait time from kitchen-to-door would be about 45 minutes. A little over 75 minutes later, the driver arrives with my husband waiting on the porch. As he approaches the vehicle, the young man steps out of his driver’s-side door and opens the door to the backseat. In a frenzied state, he turns around after looking inside his car, faces my husband and asks, “Where’s the pizza?” My husband replies, “What do you mean?” The driver, incredibly flustered now, says, “Where did the pizza go?” The driver proceeds to look under the seat (really?) and then opens his trunk. He says, “Man, I don’t know where the pizza went. What should I do?” Once again, really? My husband responds, “I guess you may want to head back to the restaurant and see if the pizza is still there.”

I realize mistakes happen. They happen to all of us. Yet, when someone neglects to perform his/her core job responsibility, is that a mistake or an error due to ineffective training? It’s neither. Instead, I believe it’s an example of a huge mental traffic-jam.

So how do you regain mental focus and become productive again? Are there strategies we can apply ourselves and also share with our co-workers to help them? The answer is “yes” and if you want a high-performing workplace culture, it’s important to apply these five practical prescriptions to fine-tune your focus:

Rx #1: Reduce distractions. While it might be as simple as unplugging from your favorite device for a bit, you might find it much more challenging to deal with a colleague who frequently interrupts your train-of-thought. One way to help mitigate this problem is to identify a specific time and place where you can be distraction-free. Be sure to schedule that time in your calendar and find a quiet spot to ensure you can maximize your productivity during that time. Maybe it is only for 30 or 60 minutes per week, but that sure beats never.

Rx #2: Focus on one thing at a time. Juggling multiple tasks at once can dramatically cut down on productivity and it becomes much harder to hone in on the details that are truly important...like remembering to put the pizza in your car. Why? Because our attentional resources are limited so it is important to budget them wisely.

Rx #3: Take a short break. Have you ever tried to focus on the same thing for a long period of time? After a while, your focus starts to break down and it becomes more difficult to devote your mental resources to that specific task. By taking a brief break, you are able to push pause on your level of concentration, helping you to regain mental focus after you have allowed your brain a rest.  

Rx #4: Avoid negative emotions. Negative emotions can represent an “off-switch” for peak performance. If you work in an environment where emotions run high on occasion, you likely wonder when the next outburst will ensue. Do your best to stay clear from unnerving emotional situations and also steer away from letting your unwanted emotions escalate.  If you can’t avoid negative emotions, do your best to control or minimize them as quickly as possible.

Rx #5: Maintain a consistent sleep schedule. Start by getting to bed and getting up at the same time every day, including weekends. As tempting as it may be, don't try to make up for a lack of sleep by staying in bed on the weekends. Sleeping in won't make up for a sleep deficit. In fact, according to a recent Harvard study, when you snooze extra hours to compensate for sleep deprivation, your ability to focus is worse than if you had stayed up all night.

Even though we never got to enjoy a delicious piece of pizza pie that night, my husband and I did have a few laughs over the experience and I did get a great story that I couldn’t wait to share with my readers. So the next time you encounter a craving for thick-crust, consider averting a similar outcome by tossing a few ingredients together yourself, staying focused on the oven timer, while saving some dough in the process.

The Discipline to Delay Indulgence

Blog by Tracy Butz, CSP

Have you ever wondered why you make some of the decisions that you do? I believe one significant factor that influences one choice over another is a human desire to move toward pleasure and avoid pain. By pleasure I mean things that create feelings of happiness, strength, optimism, energy, or inspiration. With pain, I am referring to feelings of anger, confusion, helplessness, frustration, or even boredom. If you are regularly able to demonstrate self-discipline by delaying pleasure or gratification, your chances for achieving success in life increase substantially. 

According to a landmark Stanford University study, children were provided one marshmallow and given the choice of eating it or waiting fifteen minutes and being rewarded for holding out with a second marshmallow. Some kids ate theirs right away. Others waited. But the study’s real significance came years later, when researchers discovered that the children who held out for the reward had become far more successful adults than the children who ate the first marshmallow immediately. This “marshmallow theory” was found to explain that the key difference between success and failure is not merely hard work or intelligence, but the ability to delay gratification.

If you are looking to delay gratification, like to save money now to be able to purchase a more desirable item in the future, here are five strategies to help you stand strong: 

1. Be clear on your values and what matters most. Have a clear understanding of what is important to you and what you want to accomplish. When you realize these aspects, you are more likely to make choices that can help you achieve the goals and success you desire.
2. Break down big projects/goals. Just like running, athletes train very differently for a sprint than a marathon. The long project will help you to learn about the process, setting mini-goals along the way, and ongoing persistence.
3. Offer visual progress. Use a jar of marbles or some sort of visual tool to demonstrate working toward a goal and making progress versus giving yourself a huge reward after accomplishing a task. Once the jar is full, then you get to reward yourself.
4. Get an accountability partner. Just like it is often times easier to workout with a buddy so that you both are less inclined to stop because you know the other person is counting on you, sharing your plan and progress with an accountability partner can help maintain your focus and discipline.
5. Frequent reflection. When you find yourself struggling with wanting something now and you’re about to cave in, stop to consciously reflect as to why you are feeling more vulnerable than usual. Try to pinpoint the motivation and reasons behind this strong craving. This time spent in reflection just may be enough to break the cycle of “now” and allow you to postpone the pleasure. 

Delaying gratification can be hard-work. Depending on what you want to achieve, it may take weeks, months, years, and sometimes even decades. And even if you don’t always make the best choices, hopefully you learn from the poor ones and appreciate the good ones. As I contemplate my life, I know that when I exercise self-discipline to delay an indulgence or an instant pleasure, I reap the sweet rewards. I tend to appreciate it more, feel a greater sense of accomplishment, and achieve a more successful outcome. Hold it, smell it, or even lick it, but don’t gobble the marshmallow yet.

Personal Challenge: What areas in your life do you feel you need instant gratification and find it difficult to delay? What other strategies do you have for delaying gratification?

Strengthen Your Courage Muscle

Blog by Tracy Butz, CSP

Perhaps you are confronted with taking a chance when others will not, or your idea is very unpopular. Maybe you desperately want to follow your vision, no matter where it takes you, but you are meeting intense resistance. Perchance you are simply trying to do the right thing, even though far easier options exist. Most of us are called to be courageous more than we think, and we likely already possess many of the qualities that other remarkably courageous people have demonstrated. But if building definition in your courage muscle is a strength-enhancing exercise you want or need to target, highlighted below are six ways to grow that muscle: 

1. Stop procrastinating and give courage a try. Do your best. Learn from the results of that first attempt and avoid becoming discouraged.
2. Face what you fear. Look it in the eye and determine exactly what you are afraid of. Rejection? Being laughed at? Not being accepted? Then once you know what you fear, face it and tell yourself, “This fear will pass.” Take one small step, then another. Action builds courage.
3. Step outside your comfort zone. By being open to meeting new people, visiting a city you have never been to but are curious about, or tasting an appealing entrée, one that you hadn’t considered before, you gradually strengthen your ability to be courageous.
4. Stand up for others who need it. Find your inner strength to take a stand when necessary. Start by demonstrating courage when someone else is in need, rather than standing up for yourself first, since that is often times less intimidating.
5. Demonstrate self-discipline. Be very clear about what you want and don’t want, and remain steadfast even when you are enticed to veer off course.
6. Be willing to fail. True learning happens when things don’t go your way; when you fail or lose. Be willing to fail, but never willing to quit. Failure doesn’t feel good, but the result, if you learn from it, is powerful. 

Rather than succumbing to the learned behavior of fearfulness, know your limits, but commit to exercising courage more. If you want to transform your life and not reach the end of your line with regrets, make courage a conscious virtue you need to live with, versus without.